[Open] Add guided meditation for ADHD

Hi. Giving a bit of background and requesting support and guidance back to meditation/myself. I have AuDHD (autism and adhd). Routines are necessary for self regulation especially for the kind of nervous system that I have. Meditation was the most important and grounded anchor for that. It was the first routine thing I was able to develop as a consistent habits. Routines are really difficult to establish for a neurodivergent mind, and are very difficult to re-establish once broken (very overwhelming and challenging to the nervous system even if it's something good because it takes so much work, time, consistency, and energy to create it into a habit that's easier to follow on the nervous system) That being said. I have been in a toxic relationship with someone who is also autistic and finally got diagnosed after multiple conversations with me about my concerns and how it's affecting me. He is 1000% limerant, very codependent with untreated ADHD as well. He is very hyper focused on me and has completely destroyed my routine and my need for nonverbal time, solitude, and time to meditate and not let things like being on my phone, social media, excess interaction with others - contaminate the frequency that i carefully developed through long term meditation. Before him, I managed to meditate every single day, and eventually increased to 2-3 times/day for a year and a half. I felt my frequency change. I felt a shift in my sense of presence over time that was very tangible in my vessel. I felt the physiological shift/response in my body as well. All of that is gone. And I live in the USA as a POC citizen and everything is on fire and they're hunting down people of color regardless of legal status or lack of criminal history in the name of evil....and the only thing that grounds me is destroyed. My skills are shot. I haven't been able to mediate for a year now because of his selfishness and obsession with constantly demanding my time, energy, and disregarding my routines. I am angry. I am emotional. All of that contaminates my spiritual practice. My ADHD is worse even on meds. My ADHD symptoms used to be dramatically improved because of regular meditation. I used to be very calm and not knocked over by daily things. I used to have such a strong skill in meditation that if I had an early morning obligation and woke up late and had to skip my first-in-the-morning mandatory meditation for that day to be on time for something - i would notice an immediate difference. I was like someone who smokes cigarettes at different parts of the day - as if they missed their morning cigarette. My window of tolerance was smaller. My patience shorter. My resilience is less. I'm irritable. Things affect me more and I have less capacity. I am not myself. I am manic. My ADHD meds alone are not enough without the skill I cultivated on my own for so long. I am manic and resentful and yes I know I need to leave him but I'm alone and struggling because I'm afraid to leave my house just to go to work because it's now so dangerous here. I'm completely out of capacity and beyond neurodivergent burn out and also just having ptsd in reaction to what's going on. He feels really bad and now it's too late after months of me defending my precious routine and meditation needs. It's too fucking late and I can't even go a day without lashing out in anger at the evils in current events and at him for taking away the one thing I worked so hard to carefully cultivate. I can't even meditate for more than 30 seconds without. my mind absolutely racing. It's always racing. Especially now that it's incredibly dangerous for US citizens simply for being a person of color. I can't even separate myself from the ego anymore. My presentation looks pretty bad and I would've been so much more able to at least self regulate with the level of skill I had maintained with meditation. I can't even feel my feet on the ground. Everything is gone. I have to rebuild the skill. I used to be able to mediate for 10-15 minutes multiple times a day and did it for over a year. My nervous system is absolutely fucked and I can FEEL it in my body and rage. I constantly feel like I can't stop or slow down and I just can't even breathe. It's really dark. Yes, I am in lots of consistent therapy and careful monitoring of my concerning state and my ADHD meds and now sleep meds because I can't sleep anymore. But I need meditation. I know what it did for me. Please help me find my way back. Meditation is hard with ADHD. I can't sit still. I also have sensory needs. I can't find anything. It doesn't work with what I used to do. I primarily developed the skill with guided meditation specifically with the Open app on my phone. Please be kind. Thank you in advance. Sorry for all the back story but the emotions and the racing thoughts are relevant.