User suggests installing white noise machines in medical exam rooms or at nurses' stations to prevent patients from overhearing sensitive conversations, thereby avoiding potential HIPAA violations and ensuring patient privacy.
I had my 37 week appointment with my midwife this morning. All my appointments have been for 7:00am, 7:15am, or 7:30am. The earliest I can get so I miss the least amount of my work day possible. I thought my appointment this morning was for 7:15am. I arrive at 7:12am and sign in. I get called back and do my urine sample and I’m waiting in the exam room. I hear the midwife chatting with the nurses outside the door saying, “I don’t understand how people are still late with daylight savings time. It’s really almost 8:30 right now.” And like, that’s not how spring daylight savings time works at all, but I worried she was talking about me and I pulled up my calendar. Today was actually a 7:00 am appointment. Shit. I feel guilty, especially since I kicked off their workday by pushing all the coming patient times back. She gets in and we do the normal routine and she’s pleasant as usual. I’ve really liked her this whole pregnancy and felt like she’s a good provider. I asked some questions about my latest ultrasound from MFM because I can’t go onto my patient portal without seeing the baby’s sex. My husband and I decided to have it a big surprise in the delivery room. We both love surprises and it’s been very fun throughout the pregnancy to speculate and it’s really given me a “reward” to be less scared of labor. She says, “She’s in the 70th percentile for weight.” I just stare at her. She asks, “Anything else?” And I say no, so she goes to get the paperwork. I’m trying to make sense of it, thinking maybe when she said “she,” she meant the ultrasound tech or the person who authored the report. Then I hear her with the nurses outside the room. “I just told her the baby’s gender and she looked at me like, ‘What?’” And they all started giggling, including her. I get the paperwork, say thank you as I leave, and she is dead silent just staring at her laptop at the nurses station. She always gives me some sort of goodbye. So I burst into tears in the parking lot and called out of work because I’m an emotional wreck. I got home and explained to my husband what happened (without revealing the baby’s sex to him, because I’m not a monster) and he’s urging me to complain. I don’t even know how to complain because I feel like it could be an accident? My husband says her laughing with the nurses after shows it was petty vindictiveness over me arriving late. He said a normal person would feel guilty and confide their mistake with the nurses, not turn it into a joke. I’m just really upset. It feels like a slap in the face at this point in my pregnancy. All the baby stuff is purchased. Anything I would’ve done differently if I knew the sex can’t be undone at this point. And now I don’t get that magical moment when the baby is born and they tell me what it is. I’m not going to ruin that for my husband or anyone else, but god damn it, it sucks. That was the moment I clung to during awful morning sickness and sleepless nights and horrible pelvic pain. And now I don’t get to have it. TL;DR: Midwife told me the baby’s gender at 37 weeks today. It was supposed to be a delivery room surprise. I’m not convinced it wasn’t intentional and my husband is urging me to complain. I’m devastated. **UPDATE** I cancelled my remaining appointments with the midwife. I have an appointment scheduled with another midwife at a different location within the same practice who did my telehealth appointments early in my pregnancy. She doesn’t attend hospital deliveries, but I will be cared for by one of the OBs the practice has on rotation when I deliver at the hospital. Thank you for all the comments encouraging me to switch care, even this close to the due date. You’re right - I don’t want this woman in the delivery room during that extremely vulnerable time. I have chosen to view this as an unfortunate isolated incident with a provider who I otherwise think is very good at their job. This isolated incident did, however, dismantle the trust in have in them, and there’s no coming back from that. At the end of the day, I’m set to have a healthy baby. I have a partner who clearly loves and supports me, and I still have steady access to medical care during these last weeks. I’m not letting her ruin the moment I become a mom. **UPDATE 2** I filed a complaint. I did not file a complaint against my previous provider, but I did file a complaint against the practice location. As one commenter mentioned, it’s a big problem that patients in the exam rooms can clearly hear what is being said at the nurses station. To avoid any dispute, I did not mention specifics about what was said, just that it was unprofessional and tied to personal health information. I said they should either refrain from talking about patients at the nurses station or install white noise machines in the exam rooms in order to avoid reportable HIPAA violations.