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User struggles with surface-level conversations and matches primarily seeking casual encounters. Wants features that help vet matches for serious intentions and facilitate deeper, more meaningful conversations, reducing the emotional drain of current app usage.
I know most are from tinder but these basically sum up 99% of my experience on dating apps (sigh). I’ll be turning 25 this year and have been using them on and off for about 4years. I would usually download the apps use for one day or two and then delete them as it would get overwhelming for me. I have learned a lot by joining this sub a few years ago. It has helped me a lot with improving my profile and managing my expectations but I still feel like I’m doing something wrong. Matches have never been the issue but as you can see the quality is not always great, like 99% of the time this is what I get or men who put no effort in the conversation at all, I can count on one hand some really nice guys who I’ve had really amazing connections with. Some months ago I downloaded dating apps again, and I always force myself to stay there at least a month now before my energy gets drained again so at least I know I’m trying. During these 4-6weeks I went on 8-10 dates (I know, I know. My friend said I did a year worth of dates in a month). I usually prefer to go on dates sooner than later. I couldn’t connect on a deeper lever with any of them. The ones who tried to keep contact was just to see if I’d sleep with them and when I’d decline the offer they’d ghost. I’d consider myself a little nerdy and shy and I connect much more through deeper and longer conversations than surface-level flirting/ small talk. A lot of these people don’t even know how to hold a basic conversation and when they do well…they only want sex. I’m starting to wonder what am I doing wrong, I often fear I’m being perceived as boring or hard to read as it’s very hard to me to have small talk. I also get maybe I’m not vetting my matches really well. But I do swipe more left than I do right. Is this what people mean when they say they only have 1-2 matches a month? Not because they don’t have options but because they’re very strict on who they swipe? Which tbh I feel like I also am, but maybe not enough. If yes, what are some of the rules you might have to swiping right that Im missing. What kind of advice would you give me, if there’s any to be taken? Im feeling like I might be the problem or part of it. Anyways, this was my little rant…